"I don't like spiders and snakes, but that ain't what it takes to love me."

If you've ever read about Australia, looked at pictures, or clicked the occasional Buzz Feed or Facebook news feed about the country, you know that it's fraught with danger. Spiders. Snakes. Freshwater crocodiles the size of Sedans.

And Australians, nonchalant and even-keel as usual, take it in stride: "Oh, that spider? Yeah, it's pretty deadly, but it won't bother you if you don't bother it. I'll just scoot it outside here, away from your bowl of cheerios." Now, to the credit of all Australians that have scoffed at my squeamishness around spiders only slightly smaller than my face, I have not been poisoned or even chased by a single arachnid. That's not to say I haven't thought spiders and snakes were chasing me, but hey, running away is a pretty solid kind of self-preservation.

So here are some pictures of the creatures I've encountered. Some are pictures that either Jordan or I took with our iPhones. Which means that we (usually Jordan) have been uncomfortably close to them.

I have no idea what this little guy to the left is called, but he kind of looks like he should be playing guitar for Kiss.

This is Margaret. She weighs over 800 pounds and enjoys ominous swims in the river.

To the left is an Orb Weaver, very harmless, shockingly large at times, and handy at building 10-foot webs in a matter of minutes.

This is the big Kahuna, the Shaq to all the other spiders' Pee-Wee Herman: the Huntsman spider. He was hanging out on the wall of my bedroom, looking for all the world like he wanted to eat me for breakfast. Below is a comparison picture--I'd say the one on my wall was a similar size, maybe a bit larger. Now, this spider isn't technically poisonous, but his scariness factor is through the roof.

I saw this taipan in the zoo in Brisbane; I'm sure I've already blogged about it. Although it isn't the most poisonous snake in Australia, it is incredibly aggressive and likes to chase people. No kidding.

A black snake (very original name) on the road outside of Crookwell, NSW. Sorry I cut off the tail; he was making me nervous. Very poisonous, but not very aggressive.

Wait for another original name...the brown snake! Australian naming prowess is unequaled. I nearly stepped on one of these while hiking in the Warrumbungles. Aggressive and too large for comfort, this is the most poisonous snake in Australia. So needless to say, I was shaken up, shying at every lizard and insect rustling in the leaves for the rest of the day. (Google images)

And this? This is a kangaroo scratching her belly. I thought I'd leave you with something less creepy.