This is Australia

We're proud to be Montanans, Alabamans, and Virginians. We see the uniqueness in our towns and states and thrive on telling others about what makes us individuals. Who hasn't been cornered by one or other of a town's inhabitants and told the most interesting, horrifying, hilarious details about the area? Who hasn't heard about Fred who has lived in this town his entire life and driven his riding lawn mower to coffee every morning at precisely 7:00? Who hasn't learned all about Cody, the best basketball player on the team this year, and man if he can keep his grades up, it's lookin' like a State title!?

In many ways, Australia is the same. Replace basketball with rugby. Fred can remain Fred. But fundamentally, Oz is a different world, a landlocked island, massive in size and replete with its own culture. I'm not claiming to know and understand the culture in this country perfectly, but I thought it might be entertaining to record what I've noticed. So, in my incomplete opinion, this is Australia:

1.) "Aussie! Aussie! Aussie!!! Oi! Oi! Oi!!!" Australians LOVE sports so much they have created a chant that everyone knows and uses religiously. I defy you to find an Australian that won't yell, "Oi! Oi! Oi!" in response to your, "Aussie! Aussie! Aussie!" They love cricket and rugby the most, but being the equitable folks that they are, they also find space in their hearts for basketball, soccer, lawn bowling (more on this later), tennis, golf, etc., etc. For this reason, every town, no matter how small, has a rugby field, a cricket pitch, tennis courts with basketball hoops on either end, and a golf club. Not to mention the endless radio ads for "Gunnedah's Services and Bowling Club" or "Come on down to Goondiwindi's Services and Bowling Club for a sausage sizzle!" More on the bowling later.

 2.)  Bowling!!! (This is later.) The venerable sport of lawn bowling is not ten-pin bowling. And since it's always done behind iron fences and hedges at member-only clubs, I actually know nothing about it. But it's EVERYWHERE. Every town has a bowling club, and every person in that town, aged over 55 or thereabouts, bowls the lawn.






3.) The "small town look". So it seems that every small town in Montana has two churches and two pubs, with some variance regarding the number and ratio. In Australia, every small town has a Main Street look that is most definitely an established pattern. First of all, if you drive into a small Australian town, there are blue signs pointing you towards the "Town Centre". This centre most often has a bakery, a butcher, an IGA (fruit and veg), a couple cafes and always a coffee shop, an RSL (just like a VFW in America), a clock tower, a bowling or bowls club (of course), and without fail an old, usually shady-looking hotel or two titled The Royal or The Commercial or some queenly name like The Victoria. Of course, there are times when the hotel isn't shady at all and serves incredible food. Below these two lovely pictures I've attached a somewhat boring but hilariously typical video tour of a Queensland town.

Above is the Royal Hotel in Boggabri where I was a cotton farmer for two months; below is a standard main street of an Australian town.

4.) And the last note I'll make today, the last "This is Australia" definer, is...drum roll, please....road signs! I know this sounds boring, but I must say that Aussie road signs make for some wonderful roadtripping entertainment. First of all, the Road Transport Authority, Australia's government-run authority on, well, roads, is wholly convinced that every driver suffers from some kind of fatigue disorder that can only be cured by scaring the crap out of the sleepy masses with terrifying road signs. Some examples:



Better than the scarring "fatigue kills" road signs, though, are the animal signs. Since this country has so many exotic animals, driving down its roads is like following sign posts at the zoo. Around the next bend are the kangaroos! Go down this lane a bit and you'll find the koalas!

The middle one is a wombat. Below is an echidna, Australia's version of the porcupine. They're much cuter than porcupines and aren't capable of leaving their quills behind, so Aussies don't have such a contentious relationship with them.

Some koalas are cute and cuddly.

And some are grumpy old men stalking around with their claws brandished in a very threatening fashion.

This sign isn't so much for the protection of the Tasmanian devil. Don't exit the vehicle under any circumstances.

And the last and most obvious set of road signs? Those marking distances between places in Australia. Good luck pronouncing the names or trying to fathom just how far it is from Darwin to Melbourne or from Alice Springs to anywhere else.

Hope you enjoyed your abbreviated tour of Australia! I've been here nearly six months now and still have a lot to say about the country. But what I'd like to know is what you all want to read/hear about. Just comment on Facebook if you'd like, and I'll try my best to answer your questions or entertain you at the very least!

A Piano Recital

So this video was meant to be published on my blog two days ago, but some technical difficulties prevented it from happening. Anyway, disclaimer over. Enjoy!

This is a wombat sleeping in his water tank at a wildlife reserve. I feel the need to add pictures of animals in most of my blogs since there are SO MANY animals in this country that don't even remotely resemble what I've experienced. And wombats are the coolest.